Tuesday, 7 November 2017

“Guns don’t kill people, people do”: US gun lobby demands ban on people

Fairfax (dpo) - “Guns don’t kill people, people do.” That is according to the NRA, a US pro-weapon lobby group, following the mass shooting in Sutherland Springs which killed more than 20 people. They are now demanding a national ban on people. This is predicted to reduce the number of gun-related deaths to zero in the long term.

“There are always hysterical voices to be heard after this kind of tragedy – people wanting to regulate or even ban guns,” explains head of the NRA, Wayne LaPierre. “But the statistics show that firearms are completely harmless on their own.” Never in the history of the United States of America has a pistol or other weapon been charged with robbery, aggravated assault or murder.
“It is always people who commit these atrocities and misuse peaceful weapons to do so,” continues LaPierre. “And at the same time a media witch hunt is taking place, targeted towards firearms. It is disgusting!”
The “people ban” proposed by the NRA would prohibit any members of the species Homo sapiens from spending time on US soil.
“You’ll see. As soon as there are no more people in the USA, the number of mass shootings will soon fall to zero”, believes the gun lobbyist.
“And our beloved pistols, revolvers, rifles, machine guns, sub-machine guns, shotguns and the rest will finally be able to live in peace and harmony with one another.”
Due to the NRA’s extremely friendly and effective ties to politics, observers expect to see this ban passed into law by US Congress within the month. The New Year could thus see the start of deportations of the 323 million people currently living in the USA. In addition to the planned wall along the border with Mexico, a further wall along the border with Canada is set to ensure that no people are able to enter the country illegally.
ssi, dan; picture: Shutterstock
Read the German version HERE.
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