Thursday, 1 February 2018

Scandal shocking the porn scene: 38 percent of all MILFs are not even mothers

Los Angeles (dpo) – The porn scene has recently been shaken by a full-blown scandal. In a bi-annual survey by the Porn Consumers Union, an independent consumer organisation, it was discovered that at least 38 percent of all so-called MILF actresses do not have any children and therefore cannot be called “moms”. Experts are still debating the full extent of this scam, but one thing is certain: the consumers’ trust in the porn scene has been severely shaken.

At a press conference, the stricken director of the study, Kent Guthrie explained the situation: “It all started when the ex-husband of a porn actress touted as a MILF told us that his former partner did not in fact have children and was not even able to have them.”
Jennifer Coolidge, the mother of all MILFs
An extensive comparison of female porn stars’ biographies with their supposed MILF status then confirmed the horrible suspicion – at least 38 percent of porn actresses are not mothers!
Guthrie, who in the past occasionally liked to watch porn including one or more MILFs himself, is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. “If I think about all the guileless men who innocuously assumed they were watching good-looking mothers having sex and maybe even masturbated along to this, and then to find out they were not even mothers…I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it!”
The Society for Porn Consumers is now calling for an independent institute to carry out regular checks. They also want a standardized MILF seal to guarantee that consumers will receive what they were promised. For the time being, elderly women without children are to be called “EWILFS” (“Elder Woman I’d Like to Fuck”).
In a follow-up study, the Porn Consumers Union plans to find out whether GILFs actually have grandchildren, whether the winners of oil wrestling are not in fact predetermined and whether “The First Time (Anal)” really is the first time (anal).
jsi; picture above: Mutter Erde, picture on the right: Manfred Werner, CC BY-SA 3.0
Read the German version HERE.
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