Seven Muslim countries impose entry ban on American drones

Baghdad, Sana’a, Mogadishu (dpo) - Could this be retaliation? US President Donald Trump has imposed an entry ban on citizens of seven Muslim majority countries. Shortly afterwards, affected nations began to respond. Syria, Somalia, Yemen, Iraq and Libya, among others, have instated an entry ban on US drones which came into force with immediate effect.
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Trump’s first bowel movement in White House twice the size of Obama’s, Press Secretary reports

Washington D.C. (dpo) - We knew Donald Trump wanted to go big, after all, ‘making America great again’ is no small task. Now, it seems he has delivered. The new White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced today to the gathered reporters of Washington, D.C., that the new President’s first official bowel movement was twice the size of Obama’s in 2009.
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Joe Biden hides dead opossum under floor of White House

Washington D.C. (dpo) – “A nice little welcome gift for Trump,” mumbled US Vice President Joe Biden (74) this morning as he placed a dead opossum under the floor of the Oval Office. This was to be Biden’s last act in office before today’s handover.
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Trump already practising with model nuclear launch button

New York (dpo) - Donald Trump is preparing to take on the most difficult job in the world. One day before being sworn in as 45th President of the United States, he is already extremely focused and practising hard on a model nuclear launch button installed on his desk in Trump Tower.
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Donald Trump attacks puddle as “highly overrated” after stepping in it

New York (dpo) – President-elect Donald Trump took to Twitter today having just stepped into a puddle in the middle of the road outside Trump Tower in New York. In his Tweet, he blasted the small pool of water, calling it “highly overrated”. He went on to say that although the puddle didn’t know him, it had ruined his day with no provocation whatsoever.
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