Model too fat for H&M jumps from slightly tilted window

Berlin (dpo) - Having been rejected as "too fat" in a casting for Swedish clothing group H&M, a 21-year-old model from Berlin jumped out of her flat’s tilted window on the fourth floor yesterday. Miraculously, the Berlin girl was only slightly injured.
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Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers

Vatican (dpo) - Following the recent Vatican abuse summit, the Catholic Church today announced key measures to tackle the issue going forward, including a stipulation that altar servers don the burka. The concept for this full-body covering was borrowed from another major world religion. Proponents hope that using it in the Church will prevent priests from being enticed into sexual assault.
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Tailgate in comfort: BMW introduces automatic headlight flasher with proximity sensor

Turin, Munich (dpo) - At the international automobile convention in Turin, the Bavarian car manufacturer introduced a new feature which will especially appeal to drivers who constantly feel pressed for time. A headlight designed especially for tailgating on the motorway now provides a comfortable and automated way to inform the driver of the car in front that the BMW driver wishes to overtake.
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46 Things you should never say after sex

For some, it is the most wonderful hobby you could ask for and for others it is the highlight of their year: sex. But what should you say once it is over and you are lying next to each other more or less satisfied? Well, how are we to know? The only thing we are sure of are the 46 things you should never ever say after sex:
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Fakir manages to eat just one single potato crisp in whole bag

New Delhi (dpo) - No one has ever accomplished this before: today, live on camera, Indian fakir Haripal Viswansani managed to eat just one single crisp out of a freshly opened bag! Afterwards, he sat in silence for several hours without reaching for more crisps.
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Trump declares national emergency because there is a madman in the White House

Washington, D.C. (dpo) - A mentally unstable man currently occupies the White House. In response, US President Donald Trump today declared a national emergency. This Executive Order permits him to circumvent Congress’s authority over the budget.
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“Right, that’s enough!”: Queen reinstates absolute monarchy

London (dpo) - In the face of the chaotic state of British politics regarding the Brexit process, HM Queen Elizabeth II has announced that she has had quite enough. Today in a televised speech the 91 year old monarch declared that the system of parliamentary monarchy was to transition to one of absolute monarchy with immediate effect.
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