Man inserts USB stick right way around on first attempt

Huddersfield, UK (dpo) - Jack Gibson has never claimed to be a computer whizz or a psychic and yet, this 34 year old from Huddersfield has achieved the near impossible: today he inserted a USB stick into the socket on his laptop the right way around on his first attempt.
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May uses Berlin visit to apply for asylum in Germany

Berlin (dpo) – British Prime Minister, Theresa May, today made an asylum application in Germany. The shock move came following her discussions with Chancellor Angela Merkel in Berlin. Mrs May then reported to a police station in central Berlin where she cited harassment and persecution in her home country, the UK, as reasons for her official application for asylum. She has now been moved into refugee accommodation in Berlin.
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Disgusting! Compulsive hoarder (83) stored hundreds of bottles of decades-old wine in cellar

Koblenz (dpo) – In Harald D.'s cellar, it was difficult to even turn around in former years. The vault was filled up to the ceiling with wine bottles that were partly several decades old. Now, the children of the 83-years-old compulsive clutterer had enough: they had the cellar cleared out by a professional firm.
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Toddler turns gay after parents forget to dress him in blue

Dayton, TN (dpo) - Small mistakes can have big consequences. That is something Nellie Sue Ulmer knows all too well. She forgot to include a blue item of clothing when dressing her one-year old son Beau on just one occasion and now he is homosexual.
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Child dropped off at school in 340 horsepower SUV every day must weigh over a ton

Fareham, Hampshire (dpo) - This mother drives her son to school every day in an SUV with 340 horsepower, meaning he probably weighs approximately 1 ton. At least, this is the conclusion at which other parents have arrived, having witnessed this peculiar spectacle on a regular basis.
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Model too fat for H&M jumps from slightly tilted window

Berlin (dpo) - Having been rejected as "too fat" in a casting for Swedish clothing group H&M, a 21-year-old model from Berlin jumped out of her flat’s tilted window on the fourth floor yesterday. Miraculously, the Berlin girl was only slightly injured.
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Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers

Vatican (dpo) - Following the recent Vatican abuse summit, the Catholic Church today announced key measures to tackle the issue going forward, including a stipulation that altar servers don the burka. The concept for this full-body covering was borrowed from another major world religion. Proponents hope that using it in the Church will prevent priests from being enticed into sexual assault.
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