New ‘burkdl’ enables devout Muslim women to attend Oktoberfest

Munich, Bavaria (dpo) - Finally, devout Muslim women need no longer forego beer, pork knuckles and hearty oompah music. Today, a fashion designer from Munich unveiled his latest creation, which he calls the ‘burkdl’. The garment is a cross between a burka and a dirndl, merging eastern and western traditions elegantly and respectfully. Of course, it had to be approved by an Imam before it could hit the shops.
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News Ticker (19)

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Heroic passer-by smashes car window to save multipack of beer from dying of heat stroke

Peterborough, UK (dpo) - Saved in the nick of time! A man from Peterborough showed real courage today: he saw a multipack of beer which looked certain to die a painful death from heat stroke in a car that was parked in the direct heat of the sun. He acted swiftly to save it, smashing in the front window of the car. Now, Daniel Ruston is even due to receive an award from the City of Peterborough recognising his bravery.
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“Right, that’s enough!”: Queen to reinstate absolute monarchy

London (dpo) - In the wake of the political chaos following Boris Johnson's resignation as Prime Minister HM Queen Elizabeth II has announced that she has had quite enough. Today in a televised speech the 96 year old monarch declared that the system of parliamentary monarchy was to transition to one of absolute monarchy with immediate effect.
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Boy in Bangladesh ridiculed by peers for not making designer clothes

Dhaka (dpo) - Rifat Muntasir (11) does not have it easy. The young textile-industry worker is constantly bullied by his peers because, unlike them, he does not make brand-name clothes. Instead, he spends his days making clothes for a variety of white-label companies and cheap discounters, working up to 13 hours per day.
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Eighth grader kicked out of school for dividing by zero

Edmonton, Canada (dpo) - What was he thinking? His teacher warned him off several times but Max S. still went ahead and divided by zero. Now the 13-year-old has been expelled from Allendale junior high school in Edmonton, Alberta. Luckily, only his maths teacher was adversely affected. She is now receiving psychological support.
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Automobile Club advises: always provide foil if leaving pet in parked car

Madrid (dpo) - Due to the current heat wave sweeping Spain and other parts of Europe, the Royal Automobile Club of Spain is urging all drivers to be especially careful when parking their vehicle in the blazing sun. Dog or cat owners who leave their pets in the car should always ensure they line their seat with foil.
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