Mexican beer rebrands as Ebola to avoid association with coronavirus

Mexico City (dpo) - The dangerous coronavirus is spreading quickly and is a source of fear for many. In order to avoid associations with the negative headlines, Mexican commercial brewery Grupo Modelo has announced that its most popular beer, Corona Extra, is to be rebranded as Ebola Extra. “We don’t want our customers to feel like they are drinking an infectious disease,” explained a spokesperson for Grupo Modelo, hence the decision to go for a worldwide rebrand.
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2000 most hard-working people richer than 4.6 billion laziest people combined

Oxford, UK (dpo) - They really have earned it: a recent study by well known NGO Oxfam has revealed that the 2153 most hard-working people on the planet have more wealth between them than the 4.6 billion laziest people in the world combined. According to Oxfam, the results of this study starkly demonstrate just how much personal commitment to your job always pays off.
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Young man admitted to psychiatric ward due to lack of social media accounts

Cologne (dpo) - He will probably not ‘like’ this: today, 22 year-old Sven B was sectioned and admitted to a secure psychiatric ward since he does not have any accounts with any social networking sites, such as Instagram, Snapchat or even Facebook. This comes after Sven B’s friends alerted the health authorities saying they were extremely worried about this young man’s antisocial behaviour.
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Smoker dies of heart attack on seeing unsettling graphic health warning

Gelsenkirchen, Germany (dpo) - Having discovered a brutal graphic health warning on his packet of cigarettes, a 53 year-old man from Gelsenkirchen, Germany, died of a heart attack this morning. Critics of the tobacco industry regard the man’s death as proof that the graphic health warnings are working – after all, he finally stopped smoking after 39 years.
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Thousands of Christmas markets worldwide facing imminent closure

Magdeburg, Nuremberg, Dresden (dpo) - Is one of our most beloved Christmas traditions in danger of dying out? According to Postillon sources, several thousand Christmas markets all over the world are expected to cease trading on 24 December this year at the latest. Even Germany’s popular markets are no exception, with over 2,000 of them facing closure, including the famous Nuremberg Christkindlesmarkt and Dresden’s Striezelmarkt.
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Damage valued at £88.27 as burglars strip Primark store of entire contents

Sheffield (dpo) - Sheffield’s burglars had a ball last night: unknown perpetrators stripped bare the Primark store located at number 30 The Moor, right down to the last T-shirt. The criminals even managed to make off with the till containing the day’s takings. According to police, the total damage is estimated to £88.27 (US$ 120.42 at time of publishing).
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Pedestrian collides with parked smart car, car totalled

Mainz (dpo) - On Tuesday, a careless pedestrian in the city of Mainz collided with a parked smart car, totalling the car. According to witnesses, the man who caused the accident was moving at a speed of approx. 2 mph. Afterwards, the man, whose identity remains a mystery, fled on foot. He is now wanted by the police.
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