Product recall: babies born in 2019 and 2020

Limited motor skills, excessive salivation and constant wailing, among other faults, today led the Ministry for Family Affairs to place a product recall on babies born within the last 13 months.
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Mexican beer rebrands as Ebola to avoid association with coronavirus

Mexico City (dpo) - The dangerous coronavirus is spreading quickly and is a source of fear for many. In order to avoid associations with the negative headlines, Mexican commercial brewery Grupo Modelo has announced that its most popular beer, Corona Extra, is to be rebranded as Ebola Extra. “We don’t want our customers to feel like they are drinking an infectious disease,” explained a spokesperson for Grupo Modelo, hence the decision to go for a worldwide rebrand.
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2000 most hard-working people richer than 4.6 billion laziest people combined

Oxford, UK (dpo) - They really have earned it: a recent study by well known NGO Oxfam has revealed that the 2153 most hard-working people on the planet have more wealth between them than the 4.6 billion laziest people in the world combined. According to Oxfam, the results of this study starkly demonstrate just how much personal commitment to your job always pays off.
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Young man admitted to psychiatric ward due to lack of social media accounts

Cologne (dpo) - He will probably not ‘like’ this: today, 22 year-old Sven B was sectioned and admitted to a secure psychiatric ward since he does not have any accounts with any social networking sites, such as Instagram, Snapchat or even Facebook. This comes after Sven B’s friends alerted the health authorities saying they were extremely worried about this young man’s antisocial behaviour.
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