Monday, 7 May 2018

12 pack: Durex introduces a ‘year’s supply’ pack of condoms for married couples

Slough, UK (dpo) - The well-known condom manufacturer Durex has announced the launch of bulk packs of condoms marketed specifically towards married couples. According to the manufacturers, these new packs will contain 12 condoms which are absolutely safe and precisely measured out in number to cater for exactly one year of marital sex.

Each condom in this new ‘marriage edition’ pack is labelled by month (one each for January, February, March and so on). “Of course, you are not obliged to use precisely one condom each month”, a spokesperson for Durex explains at the company’s headquarters in Slough. “This is just to give our customers an idea of how this could work. Of course, each marital couple will need to work out how best to apportion their year’s supply and that is a highly personal and intimate decision.”
For instance, couples may decide to use the condoms for special occasions such as Valentine’s Day, each partner’s birthday, an anniversary of a life event, their wedding anniversary, holidays and Christmas, then there are four more for huge arguments which almost lead to divorce and must be followed by make-up sex. This example would even leave one condom spare for spontaneous sex.
The condoms in the ‘marriage edition’ are specially designed for marital sex. “Each condom can be used at least five minutes before tearing”, the spokesperson says. “This is twice as long as is statistically necessary.”
This is one of the reasons why experts believe that the Durex product goes too far. “As if anyone has that much marital intercourse!” exclaims sex therapist Jodie McCallum. “After all, married couples do not breed like rabbits! It would have been far more realistic for the pack to contain four condoms, one tennis sock and a vibrator.”
fed, ssi, dan; picture: Shutterstock/manufacturer
Read the German version HERE.
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