Tuesday 21 February 2017

Trump offers condolences to Japan for Godzilla attack

Washington (dpo) - US President Donald Trump today offered his condolences to the Japanese government. He said that he was deeply moved by the devastation wreaked upon Tokyo by Godzilla and that he was shocked to the core when he saw the bloodbath on television yesterday evening.

The President addressed the American people in a speech, describing the “recent events in Japan” as a warning to be heeded by the USA. “Did you see on AMC what happened last night in Japan? Horrible! The country was totally destroyed by this giant, radioactive lizard. Thousands dead! It was much worse than the attack in Sweden on Friday.”
President Trump followed up his address on Twitter:
He also offered to share all intelligence gathered on the monster up to now with the Japanese government. “We need to make sure that this kind of attack cannot be repeated here,” he rallied. The Pacific fleet is already on high alert.
The President’s main focus is now to protect the USA, he explained. “We cannot make the same mistakes as Japan. I have tasked my best people with building a huge wall down the American Pacific coast. And they’re doing it right away because we need to protect our country from nuclear-contaminated giant lizards.”
In closing, President Trump announced that in the coming days he would be signing an Executive Order imposing an entry ban on all reptiles.
dan, ssi
Read the German version HERE.
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