Tuesday, 21 February 2017
Trump offers condolences to Japan for Godzilla attack
The President addressed the American people in a speech, describing the “recent events in Japan” as a warning to be heeded by the USA. “Did you see on AMC what happened last night in Japan? Horrible! The country was totally destroyed by this giant, radioactive lizard. Thousands dead! It was much worse than the attack in Sweden on Friday.”
President Trump followed up his address on Twitter:
The President’s main focus is now to protect the USA, he explained. “We cannot make the same mistakes as Japan. I have tasked my best people with building a huge wall down the American Pacific coast. And they’re doing it right away because we need to protect our country from nuclear-contaminated giant lizards.”
In closing, President Trump announced that in the coming days he would be signing an Executive Order imposing an entry ban on all reptiles.
Read the German version HERE.