Wednesday 10 May 2017

Donald Trump nominates son Barron (11) as new FBI director

Washington (dpo) - Following the shock dismissal of FBI director James Comey, US President Donald Trump has already announced his next surprise: his 11 year old son Barron Trump is to replace Comey and lead the bureau in its fight against crime. This also makes Barron the head of the investigation into his father’s alleged links to Russia.

“I have total faith in Barron’s abilities”, explained President Trump at the new director’s official swearing-in ceremony in Washington D.C. “After all, he’s got great genes. He will lead an independent investigation. He won’t make any allowances for his daddy, who, by the way, can cut his pocket money by a couple hundred thousand bucks any time a certain someone feels the need to poke his nose in some place.”
Barron Trump is the third member of President Trump’s family to occupy a high-ranking government post, after the President’s daughter Ivanka Trump and son-in-law Jared Kushner.
The 11 year old is to be relatively free to carry out his duties independently. According to inside sources, several of his school friends and a Hulk action figure are already tipped for top jobs in the FBI.
The FBI’s cryptography department is now due to be converted to specialise exclusively in developing cheats and hacks for difficult computer games.
Meanwhile, Barron Trump seems to be taking his new job very seriously. Even before he had been sworn in, the FBI arrested his former maths teacher Karen Saltzman on his instruction. She is being held on charges of murder, cannibalism, weapons trafficking and drug dealing.
dan, ssi
Read the German version HERE.
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