Tuesday 6 June 2017

Trump converts White House to run entirely on coal

Washington (dpo) - That man does nothing by half measures. On Friday President Donald Trump announced the USA’s withdrawal from the Paris climate agreement and today news has already surfaced that the power supply to the White House has been entirely converted to run on fossil fuels.

White House spokesperson Sean Spicer announced the conversion at a press conference strewn with billowing smoke. “The President is leading by example,” yelled Spicer over the noise of the generators. Coughing, he continued, “from now on, the White House will run exclusively on the energy of the future.”
Press Secretary Sean Spicer
Central heating and hot water will be heated by coal fired power stations and a miniature lignite fired power station will provide the electricity supply. At times of short supply, 38 diesel generators can provide additional power. Experts believe that the fast growing levels of soot will soon require the White House to be renamed the Gray House.
Figures were already available showing that energy consumption at the White House have increased by 200% since Trump took office. According to a statement from the White House, this is because, “the President doesn’t like it too hot or too cold so the central heating and air conditioning system are both permanently running at full capacity”.
According to Spicer, the Trump government’s medium term goal is to put in place targeted measures to foster non-renewable energies so that by 2020, all American households are supplied in a similar manner.
“Now you’ll have to excuse me”, said Sean Spicer in closing, “I have to go and shovel 73 wheelbarrows of coal for this evening. The President likes to take hot baths.”
ssi, dan; picture [M]: www.elbpresse.de, CC BY-SA 4.0
Read the German version HERE.
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