Naples (dpo) - This weekend, a terrible case of animal cruelty took place at Naples Zoo. According to police records, a middle-aged man gained access to a turtle enclosure and then proceeded to jump onto several of the creatures’ shells, landing on his feet. A large letter “M” printed on his cap is currently the only clue to the attacker’s identity.
“It was absolutely horrible and made no sense at all”, an eye witness described this mysterious and dreadful crime. “After he had jumped on some of the turtles, he then tried to kick those beasts at other ones.” The man was obviously deeply disturbed and was dressed in a plumber’s boiler suit and a red cap. He then cried “Mamma mia!” at a high pitch and fled the scene, jumping about wildly.
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| The turtles survived the incident unharmed |
It was a whole day later by the time that children found the man while they were out playing. At that point, he was unconscious in the gutter and suffering from a head wound. The children alerted the police. “It is a complete riddle to us”, a police spokesperson admitted. “Apparently, the perpetrator consumed toadstools and subsequently suffered from poisoning. His head injuries also indicate that he must have jumped upwards against hard objects several times.” In his pockets, police officers discovered 54 gold coins of unknown origin. The man has now regained consciousness and will face a charge of cruelty to animals. The doctors treating him are astounded that he has recovered so quickly, considering the severity of his injuries. To survive this, you would need at least three lives.
ssi; picture on the right: Orchi, CC BY-SA 3.0; first published 2017-09-08
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