Monday, 28 January 2019

Jogger uses last dregs of strength to sprint energetically past group of women

Edmonton, Alberta (dpo) - The sacrifice was necessary. In a bid to look as fit as possible, a jogger from Edmonton used his final energy reserves today to sprint past a group of women with his stomach pulled in. 26-year-old Nathan L. reported the story from his hospital bed, where he is currently recovering from the incident.

By his own account, this completely untrained amateur runner had almost finished his route of around 2.5 miles (approx. 4 km) when suddenly, three young women came powerwalking towards him, upon which ensued what he describes as, “the worst 30 seconds of my life”: despite his desperate state, he decided to go for an athletic final sprint – and, of course, to broaden his shoulders and look purposefully straight ahead.
One of many avoidable cramps on Canadian jogging routes
“It was so damn hard to keep it cool and make it look like this was my average running speed – but what else could I have done?”, the jogger complains whilst suffering from extreme cramp. “After all, one of them was quite good looking and I think she even glanced in my direction for about half a second.”
However, even after Nathan L. had made it past the women, his ordeal was not over. “I couldn’t exactly turn around and check whether they were still watching me – otherwise, they would have believed I was interested in them.” He therefore continued to sprint on, straining his glutes until he was sure he was out of sight, where he finally collapsed, exhausted.
Nathan L.’s fate is not uncommon. Scientists estimate that up to 70% of all injuries in amateur athletes occur when trying to impress their preferred gender. Experts advise athletes prone to this to exercise on their own, away from gyms and public thoroughfares.
ssi, dan, fed; pictures: Shutterstock
Read the German version HERE.
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