Friday 19 January 2018

Cost cuts at top: British Government and Parliament outsourced to India

London, New Delhi (dpo) - Finally, some success in limiting costs! At a press conference in New Delhi, the newly elected Prime Minister, Nirmala Karmabai (Conservative Party), today confirmed that from Monday, both Government and Parliament will be outsourced to India in their entirety.

“It is true,” announced Mrs Karmabai, “despite resistance from the opposition, the proposal did pass with a majority of votes. This led the former Government to dismiss all Members of Parliament, including themselves and the Prime Minister, with immediate effect. These positions are to be filled by representatives of the Indian company CheapGov, which is my employer.”
New UK Prime Minister, Nirmala Karmabai, wants to do what is best for the citizens she governs, even if they are over 4,000 miles away
Manmohan Nehru, a government spokesperson, spoke to the Postillon. He reported that the ridiculously over-inflated parliamentary allowances allocated to average British politicians were the reason for this. “When our British predecessors learned that a regular MP in India will introduce a bill, hold speeches and turn up to vote for an annual salary of just £10,596 – that is around $14,700 – they nearly keeled over. Even the Secretary of State for Trade and Industry, Deputy Prime Minister Atal Bihari Ghalib (Conservative Party) only receives a salary of £21,180, or around $29,500.”
Towards the end of the press conference, Mrs Karmabai appealed to British citizens to remain calm, offering the following advice: “Please do not worry. For you, the people of the United Kingdom, nothing much is going to change.”
Meanwhile, some departments within the new Government have already been assigned their first tasks. The Foreign Office (formerly: Home Office) is looking into plans to introduce Hindi as a second language in addition to English, while the Even More Foreign Office (formerly: Foreign Office) is to establish a strategy to increase trade with India. Furthermore, the Government as a whole is working on plans to move into a larger parliamentary building in New Delhi and to increase parliamentary allowances eightfold.
These points have already been agreed upon with leading opposition politicians Arundhati Narayan (Labour Party) and Rabindranath Devi (Scottish National Party).
ssi; picture above: Fotolia, picture on the right: Arunjithp
Read the German version HERE.
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