Thursday 8 July 2021

Child dropped off at school in 340 horsepower SUV every day must weigh over a ton

Fareham, Hampshire (dpo) - This mother drives her son to school every day in an SUV with 340 horsepower, meaning he probably weighs approximately 1 ton. At least, this is the conclusion at which other parents have arrived, having witnessed this peculiar spectacle on a regular basis.

“Even though the boy doesn’t appear overweight in the slightest, this seems to me to be the only feasible explanation”, says one father who recognises the family, “otherwise they wouldn’t need such a powerful car; they never carry anything but their only child.”
The fact that the SUV driver’s house is located just a few hundred yards from the school also contributes to people’s belief in the ton theory. “If you weighed a literal ton, it would definitely be an absolutely exhausting walk”, muses one mother, “you simply wouldn’t be able to walk for that long without your legs breaking down under your weight.”
Yet just how it is physically possible for an inconspicuous boy to weigh this much has been puzzling observers. “Maybe there is a black hole inside the boy, condensing his matter so much that he really would become that heavy despite his small frame”, suggests a father. “Or he could be made of lead”, points out the school caretaker.
Our interviewees all agree on one thing, though: this phenomenon cannot be explained using normal common sense.
ssi; picture: Shutterstock; first published 2019-03-19
Read the German version HERE.
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