Thursday 5 November 2020

“Oh shit!” Putin completely forgot to manipulate US election

Moscow (dpo) - How could he be so scatty? Vladimir Putin has just realised, to his horror, that he completely forgot to manipulate the US Presidential Election. And now his candidate, Donald Trump, is struggling.

"Blyad! I knew I’d forgotten something important!” President Putin exclaims, “But with all of the domestic politics and coronavirus and all the other countries where our hackers have to manipulate elections… I just completely forgot the United States. Well that’s just great.”

He turns to his assistant, “Dima! America, can we do anything there? No? Nothing at all? And what if we supply weapons to the… what are they called? The Proud Boys…What do you mean they’ve got plenty of their own? Fine!”

For now, President Putin is making peace with the situation, “Well, let’s see. Perhaps it’ll work out alright on its own.” He turns to his assistant again, “Dima, make an appointment with Donald Trump Jr. I’ve heard he is just as dumb and also has political ambitions. We can deal with Biden until 2024 if we have to.”

fed, dan, ssi; picture: Shutterstock

Read the German version HERE.
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