Pensioner loses control over wheeled walking frame and careens into crowd of people

Portland, OR (dpo) - This morning, a 77 year-old man lost control over his wheeled walking frame and careered straight into a crowd of people in a pedestrian area of Portland, Oregon. The man in question, Norman S., admits fault, saying that he had tried to reduce the speed of his vehicle. However, instead of successfully braking, he ended up travelling even faster. Luckily, no one was seriously injured but the controversy about the safety of wheeled walking frames is once again in the public eye.
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Microsoft introduces five bins to sort files for recycling

Redmond (dpo) - Windows is finally going green: there is now an update available for Microsoft’s Windows 10 which will introduce waste separation to domestic computers for the first time. Environmentalists have long criticised the fact that all computer files are disposed of in the same recycle bin regardless of format.
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“Right, that’s enough!”: election chaos inspires Queen to reinstate absolute monarchy

London (dpo) - Prime Minister Theresa May promised strength and stability but since the British election, the climate has been one of great instability – again. This comes just a few days before official Brexit negotiations were due to start. Now, HM Queen Elizabeth II has announced that she has had quite enough. Today in a televised speech the 91 year old monarch declared that the system of parliamentary monarchy was to transition to one of absolute monarchy with immediate effect.
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Hospital moves to perform all surgical procedures at night in a bid to save anaesthetics

Berlin (dpo) - Could this concept catch on? The Pantaleon Clinic in Berlin recently became the first hospital in Germany to announce that surgery will now only be performed between the hours of 10 p.m. and 5 a.m. Since patients are usually asleep during these hours, there is no need for general anaesthetics, which are costly sedatives.
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Peace offering? Trump sends Comey a delicious cake shortly prior to hearing

Washington (dpo) - A gesture of reconciliation – a short while before former FBI Director James Comey’s hearing, a courier arrived for him with a tasty chocolate cake from US President Donald Trump. The cake was beautifully decorated using green sprinkles with a chemical aroma.
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Trump converts White House to run entirely on coal

Washington (dpo) - That man does nothing by half measures. On Friday President Donald Trump announced the USA’s withdrawal from the Paris climate agreement and today news has already surfaced that the power supply to the White House has been entirely converted to run on fossil fuels.
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Trump: “Why would I care about the climate? I’ll be dead in 10 years anyway”

Donald Trump has once again managed to snub the international community. The USA pulling out of the Paris climate agreement rends 20 years of tough negotiations useless. Now, in an exclusive interview with The Postillon, he faces the big questions surrounding this historic move in person.
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